Pumpkin, ni la lagunya... so beautiful. I dah ada lama dalam playlist spotify I, baru hari ni cari video dia pula.

Love u budak busy I. Miss u too...

Siang tadi beli barang2 rumah then beli pewangi bilik sama macam yang sy pakai masa duduk kat Bangi dulu. To be exact, masa tinggal dengan kekasih sebelum dia pergi NZ. Lepas kekasih pergi, dan sy pindah rumah, sy pakai pewangi lain, dan baru hari ni la beli balik yang dulu tu.

Dan sekarang bilik bau macam bilik dulu. Dan terasa2 kekasih ada bersama. Mula la hati rasa pedih.

It's been more than 2 years. Yeah, LDR sucks! Tahu apa yang buat LDR lagi sucks? Time difference. :(

Dua minggu lepas, my boss, Elaine buat course pasal managing diversity in workplace, and to be specific, in my team. Jadi dalam course tu Elaine asked us to take a temperament test. Result daripada test tu ada 4 karakter yang menggunakan nama2 burung (Peacock, Eagle, Owl and Dove). Secara ringkasnya, Peacock - Talker, Eagle - Do-er, Owl - Thinker dan Dove - Follower. Dan biasanya evaluation tu akan guna 1st dan 2nd temperament, which in my case, Eagle as my 1st and Owl as my second. Based on feedback dari team, semuanya setuju dengan hasil test mereka.

Hasilnya:

Eagle & Owl


The choleric/melancholy is an extremely industrious and capable person. The optimism and practicality of the choleric overcome the tendency toward moodiness of the melancholy, making the ChlorMel both goal-oriented and detailed. Such a person usually does well in school, possesses a quick, analytical mind, and yet is decisive. He develops into a thorough leader, the kind whom one can always count on to do an extraordinary job. Never take him on in a debate unless you are assured of your facts, for he will make mincemeat of you, combining verbal aggressiveness and attention to detail. This man is extremely competitive and forceful in all that he does. He is a dogged researcher and is usually successful, no matter what kind of business he pursues. This temperament probably makes the best natural leader. General George S. Patton, the great commander of the U.S. Third Army in World War II who drove the German forces back to Berlin, was probably a ChlorMel.
Equally as great as his strengths, are his weaknesses. He is apt to be autocratic, a dictator type who inspires admiration and hate simultaneously. He is usually a quick-witted talker whose sarcasm can devastate others. He is a natural-born crusader whose work habits are irregular and long. A ChlorMel harbors considerable hostility and resentment, and unless he enjoys a good love relationship with his parents, he will find interpersonal relationships difficult, particularly with his family. No man is more apt to be an overly strict disciplinarian than the ChlorMel father. He combines the hard-to-please tendency of the choleric and the perfectionism of the melancholy

Elaine kata, orang2 Eagle/Owl ni boleh jadi neurotic, sebab Owl banyak fikir dan kadang2 terlebih fikir dan Eagle pulak perfectionist. Hence, in order to achieve the perfection, I tend to think a lot. Bila nak buat something, mesti kena ada plan. Dan mesti ada at least 2 back up plans yang lain. Mesti consider risk dan reward, dan mesti juga consider worst case scenario. Mesti boleh set expectation dan mind set yang betul sebelum buat sesuatu.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Pasal semua benda. Dan akhirnya buat sy jadi annoyed dengan semua benda, dan semua orang. Mungkin patut pergi duduk dalam gua jela....

Btw, sy dah bagi satu copy test tu kat kekasih untuk dia jawab. Tapi dia sekarang busy terlampau (Bangla pun tak busy macam dia). Tengok lah nanti bila dia free. I bet she's totally the opposite of me. Mungkin dia Owl, tapi rasanya dia takde Eagle kot. Dia baik. Mungkin ada Dove juga kat dia. Dunno lah..we'll see.

Siang tadi boss I panggil dan nak tanya something. Rupa2nya dia nak tanya pasal nak beli kain untuk buat baju kurung. Dan semua pasal tailor made baju kurung, lace, design, kaler etc. Kawan dia nak kahwin Mac tahun depan tapi cemas betul dia nak mencari baju bagai.

Then I cakap la, "alaaa..it's only attending the wedding, no need so ma fan to find the perfect dress."

Boss I jawab, "hey, I will also gonna find a good dress to attend your wedding okay."

Boss I menjemput diri dia sendiri untuk wedding kita. Well sayang, our guest list akan jadi makin panjang laaaaaaa....

posted from Bloggeroid

Yes, I do, I believe
That one day I will be where I was
Right there, right next to you
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark
The moon, the stars are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin,
Where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I’m missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside
These tears, they tell their own story

You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you,
And I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I’m reaching out to you
Can you hear my call? (who's to say you won't hear me?)
This hurt that I’ve been through
I’m missing you, missing you like crazy

You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight

Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side
Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight



I tak tahu sama ada I stress dengan study I ataupun I memang terlalu rindukan u.

Sighhhh.....

Someone like you wasn't meant to be defined
Or confined or even met eye to eye
Just there to be explored and then all the while adored
Someone like you, someone like you

Someone like you, is so beautifully designed
From the hands, all the way to the mind
Just there to be explored, and then all the while adored
Someone like you, someone like you

La la la la lalalalala

I dah penat study. Cukuplah untuk hari ni. I dah nak habis Modul 4. Ada few pages je lagi. Esok I sambung. I rindu u. Sangat. Setiap kali pun bila u sabar je dengan ngaruk I, dengan macam2 I, dengan banyak hal nya I ni, dengan entah apa2 je I ni, I selalu cakap dengan diri sendiri, I made the right choice.

Banyak benda yang buat I sangat suka dengan u. U adalah segala2nya yang I mahukan dan semua yang I tak tahu pun I nak sebelum ni. 

I sangat suka bila kita boleh agree to disagree bila kita tak boleh resolve certain things and we respect each other for that. I sangat suka bila I boleh bagitau u semua benda. Semua benda yang buat I risau, semua benda yang buat I rasa takut, semua benda yang I rasa insecure.

I sangat suka bila I tak perlu jadi "strong independent woman" bila I bersama u. I suka I boleh jadi your overly attached GF tapi dalam masa yang sama u percaya I masih boleh hidup dengan baik kat sini tanpa u buat masa sekarang. I sangat suka bila u tak pernah judge I untuk apa2 yang kurang pada I. 

I made the right choice. 

U buat I rasa I am enough for u.

Oh I miss you so much, love....

Ok, I nak tidur. Good night my love.

Sembang dengan kekasih pasal breakfast dan minum kopi waktu pagi. Sebab sy memang tak breakfast so kekasih suggest sy minum secawan kopi dulu sebelum pergi ofis. Tapi sy kata sy kena minum kopi slow2, morning coffee sy selalu akan cuma habis (secawan) by lunch time. Kalau sy minum laju2 dan terus habis secawan, sy akan rasa mual.

Kekasih senyum, dan cakap, u ni macam2 kan sayang.

Sy cuma sengih aje la.

Tapi semua ni sebab situasi kerja sy dari dulu lagi. Sy takde masa untuk breakfast. Consistently sy akan sampai rumah dari ofis dalam pukul 3 pagi. Dan sy kena masuk ofis semula sebelum pukul 9 pagi, paling lewat pun dapat buffer sampai pukul 9.15. Jadi daripada sy bangun awal untuk sarapan, tentu lah sy prefer untuk lebih masa tidur.

Dan bila sampai ofis dengan tidur cuma 3-4 jam setiap hari, sy takde masa untuk spend 10-15 minit untuk sarapan atau minum kopi. Terus sibuk dengan kerja, maka morning coffee cuma boleh minum sambil2 buat kerja dan akan habis by lunch time.

Bila semua ni jadi untuk beberapa tahun, jadi lah satu habit.

Sy suka stability. Benda yang sy familiar. Sesuatu yang sama dan sy buat over and over. Walaupun benda kecil2, semua ni buat sy rasa sy berada dalam comfort zone.

Tapi tak tahulah nanti bila kekasih dah ada. Kekasih wajib sarapan setiap hari. Tapi dia tak cerewet. Dia boleh uruskan diri dia sendiri untuk breakfast. Masa sy kat sana pun, dia yang bangun siapkan sarapan dia sendiri dan buatkan morning coffee sy sebelum dia pergi sekolah. Dan sy masih berselubung selimut lagi masa tu. Hehehehe...dasar pemalas kannn...

Maybe lepas dia balik nanti sy akan menjadi rajin bangun untuk teman dia breakfast. Moreover, sy dah bekerja office hour seperti orang lain sekarang ni. Well....mana la tauuuu...Isma take breakfast lepas ni.. :)

Ok sayang, I sambung study ni.